Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman,rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.talkshows.late,news.answers,alt.answers,rec.answers Subject: alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (Part 1 of 3) Followup-To: alt.fan.letterman Reply-To: letterman@mcs.net Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu Summary: This posting contains a list of Frequently Asked Questions (and their answers) about the Late Show/Late Night with David Letterman. New readers of the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup should read this FAQ list before posting. Archive-name: letterman/faq/part1 The alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) list Last-modified: Thu Jul 20 11:44:56 CDT 1995 Version: 9.11 Part 1 of 3 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) for the alt.fan.letterman Newsgroup From New York: You have new mail ... but someone STOLE it already ... It's the FAQ LIST for David Letterman! with the A. F. of L. newsgroup ... and FAQ compiler Aaron Barnhart ... plus Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra ... and now ... the 30-year-old college senior who majored in cyberporn ... DAAAAAAVID LLLLLETTERMAN !! * * * Top Ten Questions Asked on the A. F. of L. Newsgroup. * * * 10. Where can I write to get free tickets to the Late Show? ANSWER: Send a postcard (no letters) with your name and address to Tickets Late Show with David Letterman Ed Sullivan Theater 1697 Broadway New York, NY 10019 Requests are limited to 2 tickets. Only one request per six months is allowed, and a response is not guaranteed. Ordinarily, requests for specific dates cannot be accommodated, but it doesn't hurt to ask. 9. Where can I find today's Top Ten List? ANSWER: Send mail to topten@infomania.com and you'll receive it by autoreply mail. Or check out the CBS Home Page at http:/www.cbs.com/ (that site has a complete and searchable archive of CBS Top Tens). 8. I understand there is a mailing list for the Top Tens. ANSWER: There is. To subscribe to the Top Ten List Server, please send mail to listserv@listserv.clark.net with this message only: SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name 7. Hey! When did they move the home office to Grand Rapids, Michigan? ANSWER: Oh, look, Tom Smothers got e-mail. 6. Can I send e-mail to Dave? ANSWER: Yes! Lateshow@pipeline.com is the official mailbox of LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN and is manned by head researcher Jay Johnson. Bear in mind that Jay spends a lot of time researching heads and that your mail may not get the most timely reply. It will, however, be instantly acknowledged by a mailbox "robot" at the LATE SHOW. 5. I feel like I've just gone through the electronic version of being "pants-ed." ANSWER: I guess you posted something to the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup you later wished you hadn't. Fortunately, Stephen Pace has written a guide to safe and happy posting on the A. F. of L. and it's now part of the FAQ. See part 3. 4. Are you going to answer my question or not, Mister Shiny- on-Top? ANSWER: All right then: Dave was a guest during June on CNN's Larry King Live. A caller asked if Dave would move the office to Grand Rapids, Michigan, and Dave said, "Done." 3. Do Letterman's people read this newsgroup? ANSWER: A number of Worldwide Pants, Inc. staffers are online, but even those who aren't can get insight into the workings of the collective cyberbrain each week, when a thick packet of messages posted to this very newsgroup is circulated to staff at the Ed Sullivan Theater. 2. That Stephanie Miller -- do you think she can grab enough of that all-important 18-to-24 male demographic when her new late-night show debuts this fall? ANSWER: With or without her top? And the Number One Question Asked on the A. F. of L. Newsgroup: 1. Does Dave use FTP in his gas tank? ANSWER: Ha ha ha ha ha ... you must be one of those rabbis or dental hygienists Jay Leno pays to write his jokes. If you're referring to the Letterman archive, it's accessible by FTP at ftp.mcs.net; complete details are at the end of part 3 of this FAQ list. * * * Questions People Ask About David Michael Letterman. * * * Was Dave born to an actual American family? On April 12, 1947, to Joe and Dorothy Letterman. Dave's dad was a florist and had what Dave calls a "big personality. He was loud and liked to goof off and say funny things and do things to provoke you and get under your skin." By contrast, Dave's mom, as we have all witnessed, "is the least demonstrative person in the world." When Joe died 20 years ago, Dave said it was "the worst time in my life." Dave's mom was church secretary for many years at Second Presbyterian Church in Broad Ripple, Indiana, then a suburb of Indianapolis, which is where the Lettermans (including Dave's two sisters) grew up. * I understand that during his growing-up years, Dave was pretty much, and I'm quoting now, a "dork." Over 30 years ago, Dave worked during high school in the Atlas Super Market, an Indianapolis institution even then. Caroline Latham's book _The David Letterman Story_ shows Dave standing next to an enormous side of beef. It is fair to say that in the photo Dave looked "like a 16-year-old serial killer." In his own defense, Dave has said, "I think there's something wrong if high school is the greatest experience of your life." * Where did Dave attend college? Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana. He was a TV/Radio major with a minor in speech, and pledged Sigma Chi. Some of his frat brothers described Dave as very funny and self-confident. Dave has been generous with donations to the university and was largely responsible for the new Sigma Chi building at Ball State. In 1985 he endowed the David Letterman Scholarship there, an annual gift to a telecommunications major based solely on his or her creativity, *not* grades. * Is Dave married? Dave was married to his college sweetheart Michelle Cook, but they divorced in 1977. For several years he and Late Night head writer Merrill Markoe were engaged, but that fizzled and Merrill took off for California and a writing career. Dave is presently in a relationship with former Late Night staffer Regina Lasko, who is also active in Dave's professional life (she's currently helping out on the Bonnie Hunt sitcom project). * I heard that Dave used to be a weatherman in Indianapolis. From 1969 to 1974, as an intern and later a full-timer, Dave worked for his hometown Channel 13 as booth announcer, host of a Saturday morning kids' show and of the late-late movie, and yes, as weatherman. Dave once reported that the city was being pelted with hail "the size of canned hams" and he also enthusiastically congratulated a tropical storm when it was upgraded to hurricane status. Viewers of the _Late Show_ were recently treated to some old weather-report footage brought by Diane Sawyer, and here's what Dave said on the old report: "Let's take a look at the cloud-cover photograph made earlier of the United States today and I think you'll see that once again we've fallen to the prey of political dirty dealings. And right now you can see what I'm talking about: the higher- ups have removed the border between Indiana and Ohio, making it one giant state! Personally, I'm against it." Didn't he have a radio show, too? For about a year following his t.v. job. It was at WNTS, back when it was all-talk. This gig did not go so well for him. "I was miscast because you have to have somebody who is fairly knowledgeable, fairly glib, possessing a natural interest in a number of topics," he later told an interviewer. "That certainly is not me. I don't care about politics. ... The Nixon-Watergate nonsense was the perfect example of something about which I knew nothing and couldn't have cared less." So Dave got bored and started making stuff up. According to Caroline Latham, he once told listeners that their beloved 230-foot-tall Soldiers and Sailors Monument "had been sold to the island of Guam, whose government planned to paint it green in honor of their national vegetable, the asparagus." >>> It has been rumored that Dave got fired for his on-air remarks at Channel 13 or WNTS. In fact, the only place he ever got yanked from was Ball State's pathetic ten-watt all-classical campus radio station. * What else can you tell me about Dave's career in show bidness? As you may know, when Dave arrived in Hollywood in 1975 he found work as a comedy writer for Jimmie Walker and Paul Lynde, and as a player on Mary Tyler Moore's short-lived variety show. Because of his friendship with game-show legend Allen Ludden, Dave landed a guest-star spot on Dick Clark's _$10,000 Pyramid_ and Ludden's own _Liars' Club_ (as a "guest celebrity"). In his career, Dave has also played a Werner Erhard-alike in an episode of _Mork and Mindy,_ reportedly played a sleazy Hollywood agent-type in a _Laverne & Shirley_ episode, made several appearances in _Open All Night_ (a t.v. show which lasted the season between the morning and late-night shows), and appeared in a murder mystery called _Fast Friends_ that starred Dick Shawn as a talk show host who drops dead and is replaced by Dave (later Shawn would actually keel over on stage and expire, and it would be a couple of minutes before the crowd realized he wasn't acting). More recently, Dave has made small appearances in the 1993 sitcom vehicle he produced with Bonnie Hunt called _The Building_ (he and Bonnie will take another crack at this sitcom thing this fall on CBS, so look for a cameo or two from Dave), _The Larry Sanders Show_ (playing himself, he leaked to Larry that the 12:35 show on CBS would be given to Tom Snyder, which in fact turned out to be true), and the Adam Resnick-Chris Elliott feature film _Cabin Boy_ (1994). * I wonder why Dave doesn't do more movies? In fact, Dave was under contract to Touchstone Pictures, but has since extricated himself from it. What happened was Michael Eisner, the chairman of Walt Disney Company, signed Letterman to *not* do movies for other companies. "Eisner's kid had gotten ol' Dad to wrangle some tickets when Dave was in L.A.," recalls Bill Jones, who saw Eisner interviewed by Bob Costas on _Later._ "Eisner ... got excited when he got there and saw the huge lines and movie-premiere atmosphere. He's thinking, this guy is like a movie star/rock star already. What could we do if we actually put him in the movies? Delighted to find the next day that Dave had no movie obligations, they contacted Dave's people. They were shocked to find that our TV Pal wanted no part of any movie deal. He was pretty sure he would suck, and told them so many times. ... Dave suggested they go look at his screen test for _Airplane!_ in the role eventually played by Robert Hays. After the contract was signed, they finally did, and Eisner said he turned white as a ghost -- Dave really was that bad." Eventually, as Bill Carter reports, the contract was terminated and Disney's money more or less cheerfully refunded. Dave named his movie production company Cardboard Shoe. Before that, he had a production company for his NBC morning show (1980) called Space Age Meat, and his 1981 HBO special "Looking for Fun" was a Recreational Poultry production. Dave owns the rights to his current program on CBS, his morning show and HBO special, but not to _Late Night._ * What the hell is this thing Dave's got for Tom Snyder? Dave was a big _Tomorrow_ fan and has claimed to have seen between 80 and 85 percent of the shows (Merrill Markoe, his live-in at the time, says Dave "revered" Tom). So although strictly speaking he is the man who displaced Snyder in 1982 -- but NBC accelerated Tom's demise by pairing him with Rona Barrett and turning the pleasant chatfest into the obnoxious _Tomorrow: Coast to Coast_ -- Letterman has always said publicly that Snyder ought to be on network television again. Bill Jones notes that Dave has proven he is a man of his word: "Much of the first ten Carson years of the Tonight Show were erased [1962-72, the New York years]. They were going to do same thing to the Tomorrow tapes after Snyder was gone, but they were stopped by -- David Letterman! One of the reasons that ... Tom described Dave as a true friend." * I've heard it said that had Dave gotten the _Tonight_ gig, he would've abandoned the _Late Night_ format entirely -- not just honed its rough edges like he did on CBS -- and done a show very much like Carson's. The writer and infomaven Mark Evanier, who knows Leno, Letterman and many of the people who work for them, says, "One of Dave's current writers even told me he was glad D.L. didn't get the gig because he thinks Dave would have dumped most of the staff, moved to Burbank and done something that more resembled a variety show." Yet it's hard not to draw the conclusion based on a year and a half of _Late Show_ broadcasts that Dave *did* make a significant change by switching networks and venues. He may not do a variety show but whatever that is he's doing, it ain't the old _Late Night._ Merv Griffin once said that all talk show hosts must freshen up their format every few years. He said he did it by switching networks and time slots, while Johnny Carson did it by firing his staff. If those are the primary choices, then it seems Dave has chosen to take the Merv road. The end of the matter is this. Johnny Carson, in his final season at NBC, averaged a 5.2 Nielsen rating. Two years later, Jay Leno had taken that down to 4.4. Dave Letterman, whose NBC valedictory averaged 2.5 at a later hour, is now coasting along at something near Johnny's old rating. Who's got the Carson attrition? Dave does, and a whole lot more. Bottom line, had Letterman gotten the NBC gig, a 6 or better rating would be the reality today, and he'd still be working four-day weeks. * I have wondered if Dave was a recovering alcoholic. He had John Larroquette on the show one night, who is recovering, and talked about the days when he used to drink heavily. Unfortunately, Dave is just the kind of enigmatical, jealously guarded private person that the media looove to speculate about. He is not forthcoming at all about his personal life in this or any other department. For the record, Dave used to drink a lot but gave it up not long into his _Late Night_ run. * Who was the woman who kept breaking into Dave's Connecticut home claiming to be "Mrs. Letterman"? Margaret Ray. And she still breaks in from time to time, according to Dave in his January 1994 _Playboy_ interview. He says he has tried to get her some psychiatric help, because the state has let her case "fall through the cracks." * * * Questions People Ask About _Late Show with David Letterman_ (CBS, August 30, 1993- ) * * * Wait! I forgot to order tickets and I'm going to be in New York. Are there standby tix available? You may get standby tickets for the show each tapeday at the box office at the Ed Sullivan Theater. Standbys are distributed on a first-come-first-served basis, and are limited to one per person. Standbys do not guarantee admission. _You must be 16 or older to pick up a standby ticket and attend a taping._ And the consensus among those who've tried is that you had better get there early in the morning to have a shot at standby tix. The actual giveaway of spare seats occurs at 12 noon. According to numerous a.f.l. posters, CBS staff have instituted a procedure of numbering standby tickets as they give them out. That way, recipients can enjoy the afternoon in beautiful Midtown without having to stand in line. * I've got tickets to the Big Show! When should I show up to get good seats? Any other tips? The tapings start at 5:30 p.m. Seating is on a first-come- first-served basis, and tickets are numbered when you arrive. Try coming at about 1 p.m. (Some attendees say come a little later, like about 2:30 or 3, to avoid getting seated right up front, where one's view can be obstructed by all the equipment.) After your ticket is numbered you'll be told to return at 3:55 p.m. At that time ticket holders line up by their numbers and are eventually escorted inside the building. Some former audience members endorse *not* getting advance tix but waiting in line for standbys instead, the advantages being you have a lot more control over what day(s) you see the show (provided the line isn't too long), and you'll probably get balcony seats, which feature unobstructed views. Standbys discussed above. But if you want any chance of getting on camera, swapping gifts for t-shirts, or participating in the fabulous prize giveaways, you need to show up early and get a front-row seat. The Ed Sullivan Theater typically is chilled to between 48 and 52 degrees Fahrenheit. * Remember every night in the early months of _Late Show_ when Dave would get a standing ovation? Whatever happened to that? Mercifully, the practice has for the most part ended. Dave now comes out before the taping begins to get his standing O, and warmup guy Bill Scheft advises the audience to keep in their seats when it's air time. Dave's participation in the warmup is kept to an absolute minimum; if you're lucky, he'll be on stage by 5:28. * How are the nightly Top Tens put together? Writer Jon Beckerman says: "Every day each (or almost each) writer turns in a few topics. Rob Burnett [now Donick Cary, the head writer] pitches a few to Dave, who picks one. At about 2:30 or 3:00 we get the topic for the night's list, and everyone turns in a page of jokes (anywhere from, say, 5 to 20) by 3:45. [The head writer] (selectively) pitches jokes to Dave and composes the list from jokes that Dave approves. As you can see, it's pretty last-minute." Kind of like the warmup. * When exactly did Dave start referring to himself as "Regis Philbin"? The earliest reported sighting I've made of Dave naming his alter ego was the 1989 broadcast from the Chicago Theatre, when Penn Jillette asked Dave to write his name on a playing card as part of a magic trick. There's really nothing more to this than to Dave paying respect to his favorite broadcasters, a pantheon that includes Philbin, Toms Brokaw and Snyder, and of course his brother-in-law, Marv Albert. * Well, finally Dave is back to reading multiple letters during the "viewer mail" bit. Why'd it take so long? Early in the show's CBS run, head writer Rob Burnett told a reporter that this was one of many "improvements" that needed to be made to the show to make it feel more fast-paced than the NBC version, since it was the consensus of Dave's staff that the earlier airtime for _Late Show_ required a tighter, peppier format than the old _Late Night._ There was probably also a practical consideration in that the writers no longer had Monday off, like they did at NBC, to plan multiple elaborate gags for the rest of the week, including viewer mail bits. My guess is that no one was very happy with wagering the whole Letters segment on a single gag and that, despite the extra work involved, they figured out a way to shoehorn more letters in. >>> By the way, if that "Letters, We Get Letters" theme that bookends the segment sounds familiar, you probably remember watching Perry Como on t.v. back in the 1950s (e.g., Kraft Music Hall). That was *his* viewer-mail theme. * The audience laughter sounds sort of canned. First of all, the theater is heavily miked. Second, the show clearly has more energy than the old _Late Night_ did (see previous question). Third, audiences seem to be falling out of their seats at even the lamest monologue jokes, in stark contrast to the audience across America sitting in stony silence before their sets. It's not fake laughter and applause you hear, but the excessive noises of an overhyped and giddy studio audience, and as far as my ear is concerned there's little difference between the two. * Has anyone else noticed that the show seems to be running a little long? Perfectly normal. The show runs from 11:35:00 pm till 12:36:30 pm Eastern time. * These days the show seems to have some pretty noticeable edits made to it on a regular basis. I don't remember the program being edited for time quite so much back at NBC. Our pal Mr. Donz5 provides this eyewitness account: "The first show I was lucky enough to attend was in 1984. There was a recurring shtick before each segment (or after, I forget which) where a model sang some insipid song. But the show ran too long, and every bit with the singer in it was taken out when it broadcast that night. Shows are routinely edited for that very reason: it went on too long." * Does the Microphone on Dave's Desk actually work, or is it just a prop? (Thanks Mark Weber) Yes, the microphone (an old RCA DX 77) does work, but is usually reserved for special occasions, such as when Dave is "playing along with the band" by hitting it with a pencil. The crew at NBC gave him the mic when he left. Dave's primary mic is the wireless "tie-clip" variety. * You know that billboard painted on the backdrop directly behind Dave when he does his monologue? Is the face on there that guy from the Church of the Subgenius? Chris Lang: "Yes, it's definitely J.R. (Bob) Dobbs, the Avatar of Slack hisself." * What time do they tape the show? From 5:30 to 6:30 pm, Eastern time. Says Dave, "Everything I do is designed to help me do the best job I can between 5:30 and 6:30." The thing is done live, as Dave has always felt the energy would drain out of the show were everything subject to retakes. * Why are there *two* guest chairs? Siskel and Ebert. * I have a bet with my friend. He says the Top Ten List grew out of the "Book of Lists" that were so very popular in the late 1970s and early 1980s. I say it was a spoof on Casey Kasem's _American Top Ten_ t.v. show. Who's right? You're both wrong, according to Donz5. "Actually, when Dave debuted the Top 10 on September 19, 1985, he preceeded it by mentioning McCall's [magazine's] October, 1985 'Top 10 Sexiest Men' list. It grew from there." * What kind of ratings is the big shoo getting versus Jay et al.? For the 1993-94 season, Dave averaged a 5.8 rating, Ted Koppel a 5.0, and Jay Leno 4.4. That is, 5.8% of all t.v. homes in America were watching Dave -- this despite the fact that at season's end some 10% of t.v. markets were making their viewers stay up later than the "live clearance" time (11:35 Eastern/Pacific, 10:35 Central/Mountain) to watch him. During the Winter Olympics, all CBS affiliates were obliged to carry the Late Show at the correct time. As a result, ratings averaged a blistering 8.8 for the two-week period, and the night of the Kerrigan-Harding skateoff Dave attracted nearly as large an audience as his opening night on CBS. As you no doubt know by now, ratings have cooled since then. Koppel has gained 15% and Leno 4% in audience. Dave is down 20% this season. It's too early to tell, though, whether CBS is to blame for not delivering any young viewers to late night (ratings for the late newscasts of the network's largest affiliates are in most cases appallingly low), or a big chunk of Dave's first-year audience simply lost interest. -- Aaron Barnhart letterman@mcs.net Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman,rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.talkshows.late,news.answers,alt.answers,rec.answers Subject: alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (Part 2 of 3) Followup-To: alt.fan.letterman Reply-To: letterman@mcs.net Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu Summary: This posting contains a list of Frequently Asked Questions (and their answers) about the Late Show/Late Night with David Letterman. New readers of the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup should read this FAQ list before posting. Archive-name: letterman/faq/part2 The alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) list Last-modified: Thu Jul 20 11:44:57 CDT 1995 Version: 9.11 Part 2 of 3 * Exactly what can a guy in a bear suit do in New York City? (Thanks Natraj Kini) o Get into the "Flashdancers" strip club o Hail a cab o Enter the Russian Tea Room o Get a hug from a stranger o Convince an outdoor restaurant patron to share her lunch with him o Get the time from a stranger o Say hello on a New York City payphone * What are some of Dave's "Indiana-isms?" From Tim Veatch -- o ask...or as we say in Indiana...ax o Bush...or as we say in Indiana...Boosh o extra...or as we say in Indiana...extree o Illinois...or as we say in Indiana...Illinoiz o Italian...or as we say in Indiana...Eye-talian o mosquitos...or as we say in Indiana...skeeters o nuclear...or as we say in Indiana...nuc-u-lar o President Clinton...or as we say in Indiana...Pars'dent Clinton o pumpkin...or as we say in Indiana...punkin o show business...or as we say in Indiana...show bidness o similar...or as we say in Indiana...sim-u-lar o special...or as we say in Indiana...spay-shul o statistics...or as we say in Indiana...suh-tistics o veteran...or as we say in Indiana...vet'rin o Washington...or as we say in Indiana...Warshington o wolf...or as we say in Indiana...woof * Why did the _Late Show_ move its home office from Sioux City, Iowa to Grand Rapids, Michigan in June 1995? Dave was a guest on CNN's "Larry King Live" on a Friday night and a caller from Grand Rapids made the request. Dave said okay and on Monday it was done. * I want to get an authentic K & L Rock America souvenir and possibly glimpse Mujibur & Sirajul. Where do I go? K&L's Rock America is located at 1705 Broadway (10019), just down the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater. The phone is (212) 757-3926. (Thanks Tony Rice) * I rented that "Cabin Boy" video and Dave Letterman had a cameo in the movie, but in the credits they announced that "Earl Hofert" played the part played by Dave. Who's Earl Hofert? Possibly an uncle on his mom's side. Every now and then you'll hear him use "Hofert" on the show. Also "Henderson." * I heard that the late Bill Hicks was censored once on Dave's show! They never showed his act, and replaced him with some lame in-house comedian. Well, it's true. On the night of October 1, 1993, comedian Hicks (who died in early '94 of pancreatic cancer) delivered a routine that, in post-production, was deemed inappropriate for broadcast. Although initially co-executive producer Robert Morton claimed CBS standards and practices had ordered the cut, CBS later countered that *Worldwide Pants* had cut Hicks -- the truth is probably that both offices agreed on the excision. In a subsequent piece in _The New Yorker,_ Hicks complained that Letterman's staff 86'd the routine because of attacks on pro-lifers that did not appeal to the show's "mainstream" audience, which Hicks clearly believed was a fiction. Angus MacDonald, who was in the audience that night, has a different interpretation of the events: "He did do a joke early in the same routine that could be taken as being anti-gay ... Basically, Hicks made fun of bigots ... [and was] impersonating a bigot -- 'Those people have gone too far. We've got to draw the line,' or words to that effect -- for a stretch of many seconds during which there was virtually no audience laughter, though one guy in our row yelled 'Yeah' in agreement to the excerpt above. Creepy. Because no one was laughing, Hicks had the worst of both worlds: controversial material that was not entertaining. The rest of his routine, as detailed in the New Yorker article and elsewhere, was well received. There was almost no reporting about the gay joke, though, and I think the silence it induced may have had as much to do with the excision as the attack on right-wing Christians." A recent special on the life of Hicks airing on Comedy Central included interviews with Dave and Morty, both of whom expressed regrets about the incident. Dave said he felt even worse knowing that he won't be able to make it up to Bill now that he's gone. Incidentally, the 10/1/93 broadcast is the only one on CBS to have featured Dave as the introductory voice-over, since Bill Wendell had gone home before the decision was made to nix Hicks. * What's the deal with Teri Garr? I heard she has MS. No, she has a degenerative back condition that went undiagnosed for too long. She's receiving treatment now. (Thanks Richard Handal) * Who are the the members of the "CBS Orchestra?" o Paul Shaffer, leader/keyboards o Anton Fig, drums o Will Lee, bass guitar o Sid McGinnis, guitar o Felicia Collins, guitar o Bruce Kapler and Tom "Bones" Malone, horns The first four players comprised The World's Most Dangerous Band when Dave was on NBC (more musicians from that show in the NBC section below). There was talk that the network might litigate to keep certain items of _Late Night_'s "intellectual property," including the band name, so the boys came up with this in-your-face moniker. What happened to funkmeister Bernie Worrell? He left. It didn't work out. Anyway, you'll agree the band sounds much better with a horn section, no? * Heyyy, knock me out with some of those great musical intros Paul and the band have done over the years for Dave's guests. Below is a sampling -- please, no more submissions for this area! Besides these, two selections should be singled out from the variety of bridges that Paul uses to play Dave over to his desk: the themes from "I Love Lucy" and the old Jack Benny t.v. show (it includes bars from "Yankee Doodle Dandy"), two huge shows on the early CBS Television Network. o Prince's "I Want To Be Your Lover" for Kim Basinger o "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash/Melle Mel for Cokie Roberts (thanks Malinda McCall) o "Everytime You Go Away (You Take A Piece of Me With You)" by Paul Young following "Top Ten Things Overheard at the Lorena Bobbitt Trial" o "I Am the Walrus" by the Fabs for Mike Wallace o "Faith" by George Michael for Faith Ford o "If" by Bread during Dave's throw-Wonder-Bread-at-the- audience sequence o "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds for Laura Dern o "A Day in the [Dana] Life" for Dana Carvey o "Thank You Falettinme Be Myself (Again)" by Sly & Family Stone, as one of Dave's staff and his grade-school gym teacher were re-enacting a groin rejuvenation exercise o A Sam & Dave tune, when Sam (Donaldson) was on with Dave o "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton following a Top Ten list on the space shuttle Columbia o "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head" by B.J. Thomas for Jay Thomas o "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith for "Top Ten Things Aeroflot Can Do To Improve Its Image" o "It's Raining Men" (written by Paul Shaffer!) for Damon Wayans (who used it for his "Blaine and Antoine" routines) o "Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night for Jeremy Irons o The theme from "Three's Company" for "Top Ten Good Things About Marrying Tom and Roseanne" o "Shipoopi," from _The Music Man_ for "Top Ten Ways To Mispronounce Jeff Gillooly" o "I Don't Know How to Love Him," as sung by the Mary Magdelene character in _Jesus Christ Superstar,_ for Mary Matalin (Joe LaRose) o The theme to the t.v. classic "Mr. Ed," for "Top Ten Signs Your Name Is Ed" (thanks Dylan Behan) o And this prize from viewer Wayne Snell: "'Groovin' by the Young Rascals for CBS newsperson Lesley Stahl (and I believe also one time for actor Leslie Nielsen). The explanation: when 'Groovin' was hot on the radio in the '60s, there was a controversy that one section of the song, 'Life would be ecstasy/For you and me endlessly', was actually 'Life would be ecstasy/For you and me and Leslie'!" * I know that Paul is from Canada, but where? Thunder Bay, Ontario. He was born there November 28, 1949. * The voice of Worldwide Pants is ... ? Jay Gardner. * Who produces and directs LSWDL? Executive Producer -- Peter Lassally (longtime Carson associate) Co-Executive Producer -- Robert Morton before Morty ... Jack Rollins (and for a while, Dave was co-EP) Producer -- Jude Brennan before Jude ... Barry Sand (also produced SCTV) Supervising Producer/Director -- Jerry Foley before Jerry ... Hal Gurnee (see below) Head Writers -- Donick Cary and Rob Burnett (who's in California to head up the Bonnie Hunt sitcom) before Rob ... Steve O'Donnell before Steve ... James Downey (yup, the guy just tossed from SNL) before James ... Merrill Markoe (the original head writer, now a very funny authoress and _TV Nation_ reporter) Notable Ex-writer ... Chris Elliott Notable Ex-writer ... Joe Toplyn (now supervises writers at the _Tonight_ show) Notable Ex-Visuals Coordinator ... Edd Hall (now the _Tonight_ show announcer on NBC and brother of Stupid Pet Tricks coordinator Susan Hall Sheehan) Hal Gurnee's 15-year association with Dave as the director of all of his programs (beginning with the 1980 morning show on NBC) ended on May 26, 1995. Dave gave a brief valedictory -- which I take it was even more recognition than the modest Gurnee sought -- at the end of that night's broadcast. Dave thanked Hal generously for his work over the years, and singled out his vision for the Ed Sullivan Theater at a time when no one else, including Dave, could possibly imagine doing a television show in that unimproved dump. A small plaque was mounted outside the show's control room acknowledging this contribution. Hal continues in an advisory role to the program and is still listed in the credits for designing the show's opening sequence. Before signing on with Dave, Hal spent the better part of a quarter century as Jack Paar's director for his various t.v. vehicles, most notably _The Tonight Show._ * Boy, CBS sure pays Dave a lot of money. We don't know for sure what it is, but you're certainly right. However, given that CBS has sold out in 1994-95 advertising at upwards of $60,000 per spot -- *four times* what its old late-night programming could command -- and will sell even higher in 1995-96, Dave is a bargain. Or rather, he's a gamble that paid off. Also, take a look at what other companies were willing to pay to get Dave. According to the writer Bill Carter, Viacom would have dished out $50 million per year, given Worldwide Pants a huge show budget, and made Dave the focal property, including possible special projects for Viacom-owned cable networks (MTV and VH1). But Dave wanted to be on network t.v. and so no offers besides the Big Three's were ever seriously considered. * Is the Late Show closed-captioned? It is. Scott Barvian says, "They obviously do the captioning after the final edits are done; all the spelling is correct and nothing is missed. They catch all of Paul's little comments that [we] don't always pick up ... they even spelled out Dave screaming in terror after picking up a hot towel (OHHHH! AHHHH! JEEEZ!)." Jeff Zuk adds that sometimes the closed captioning will even tell you what song the band is playing. But Karen Owen has noticed various errors in transcription, and she says whoever's doing the captioning has a limited knowledge of popular music prior to 1964 (for instance, always referring to the theme from the Ed Sullivan Show as "peppy show biz music"). * Gosh, I'm young and stupid. Wouldn't it be great to intern at the Late Show? Currently there are about 15 internships at the show, including Dave's area, production, talent, research, music (Shaffer), sound (Michael DeLugg), mailroom, Morty's area, and writers. The important thing to bear in mind when contemplating an internship is that it's not enough to be a "fan" of a given show. General interest in broadcasting is essential. After all, this is a broadcast internship, not a Dave internship. And, oh yes, most of the time you can expect the work to be pure drudgery. One book which rated the old NBC show one of the top 100 internships to have reported this tidbit: "Several interns reported having to fetch lunch for Dave ('every day it was the same pasta primavera and vegetable soup') or whip up a snack ('Dave always had to have his fresh pineapple -- cut in strips, not squares')." Still, what makes Dave's show distinctive is the good chance that as an intern you will be used on camera at some point. Pea Boy was an intern on the show, as was the recent character "The Lethargic Fan." For all of the drudgery, you should remember that most of the present and past staff were interns, including Adam Resnick, Rob Burnett, Daniel Kellison, Mary Connelly, Spike Feresten, Donick Cary, Jennifer Crittendon, Holly Hester, and many more. There are dozens more in top positions in the industry. Still interested? Then call Peter Lassally's assistant, Theresa Gavigan, at Worldwide Pants. * Is there some way to find out in advance what reruns of Late Night are showing on the E! entertainment television network? Call (213) 954-2750. Press 1 to hear the Late Night schedule for the week (changes every Monday). The reruns are aired "five Daves a week" at 10 p.m. Eastern time. Or, check each week's issue of LATE SHOW NEWS (see the end of this FAQ). In fact, that's the course I recommend, because some weeks E! doesn't even bother to update the hotline -- and wouldn't you really rather learn that on someone else's nickel? * Let's say I want to be a guest on the show -- what should I do? Directly from Dave himself: "I don't care who you are, I don't care what you do. If you have four funny stories, you can be a guest on this show. That's what we're looking for." * I've often wondered why Dave doesn't have guest hosts on his show the way Johnny Carson always did. Look where it got Carson. * * * Questions People Ask About _Late Night with David Letterman_ (NBC, Feb. 1, 1982-June 22, 1993) [Sorry, I'm no longer accepting submissions for this area.] * * * What are the different cities where Dave's "home office" was located during Late Night? o Lebanon, Pennsylvania o Lincoln, Nebraska o Milwaukee (the first Late Night home office) o Oklahoma City, Oklahoma o Omaha (home of Arnie Barnes, who called in his own Top Ten lists) o Oneonta, New York (the last Late Night home office) o Scottsdale, Arizona o Tahlequah, Oklahoma * What are the different types of "cams" that were used on Late Night? o Amphi-cam (8th anniversary show at Universal Amphitheatre) o Chair-cam o Cow-cam o Crash-cam o Fig-cam (worn by Anton) o Guest-cam (worn by Tom Hanks) o Host-cam (worn by Dave, of course) o Las Vegas Showgirl-Cam (from Dave's 1987 shows there) o Love-cam (Bill Murray) o Monkey-cam o Sewer-cam o Sky-cam o Thrill-cam o Thrill-cam 360 o Tiger-cam * What types of gifts did Dave give to audience members on his old show? o Bacon o Bagels o Baked ham o Beef o Bug Busters o Tom Brokaw stationery o Cartons of cigarettes (handed out by Larry during a remote) o Collapsible drinking cups o Composters o Edible plunger o Fajitas o French fries o Frozen turkeys o Gallon jars of mayonnaise o Goodwill Games medals (given to audience members who asked questions of Larry "Bud" Hussein) o Handfuls of nickels from a big bucket o Handfuls of watches from a fish bowl o Hot towels (by Larry during a remote) o Jumper cables o Kentucky Fried Millipedes (actually a bucket of fried clams) o Kielbasa o Large squares of sod o Late Night with David Letterman facial blotters (if you were an *especially* good little audience member, Dave would use it first) o One volume of an encyclopedia set o Packs of assorted GE light bulbs o Pounds of hair o Randomly selected prescription eyeglasses (by Larry) o Roll of garden hose o Selections of fluorescent lighting o Six dollars o Sponges o Tee-shirts (Larry: "Bob Rooney, please give that nice lady/gentleman two Late Night t-shirts") o Tires o Toast o Toast on a stick o _Today_ show coffee mugs o Waffles No, I will *not* attempt to list all the giveaways since Dave moved to CBS and transformed the Ed Sullivan Theater into "The Price is Right." * What were the films in LNWDL's Holiday Film Festivals? (1985) o "With My Own Eyes," by David Letterman o "But I'm Happy," by Michael Keaton (with Clint Howard) o A film on PMS, by Catherine O'Hara and Andrea Martin o "Dress Cool," music video by Paul and the band o "Why Bother?" by Bette Midler o Industrial video spoof, by Harry Shearer, Christopher Guest, and Michael McKean From the "2nd Annual Holiday Film Festival" (1986): o "Feelin' in Love," David Letterman o "The Iceman Hummeth," Michael J. Fox o "An Audience of My Own," Diane Sawyer o "My Day With the Stars," Jonathan Winters o "You Kill Me" (music video), Paul Shaffer w/Teri Garr o "Chris Elliott: A Television Miracle," w/George Takei (aka Mr. Sulu from "Star Trek") * What are the different types of "suits" Dave has worn? o Suit of Alka-Seltzer o Suit of Lard (worn by someone other than Dave) o Suit of Magnets o Suit of Marshmallows (they tried to light the marshmallows with propane torches but failed; eaten by audience) o Suit of Nachos (eaten by members of the audience after Dave was dunked in cheese) o Suit of Rice Krispies (milk poured on Dave) o Suit of Sponge (they weighed Dave, dunked him in water, then weighed him again, but it was off the scale) o Suit of Suet (Dave went into a cage of birds) o Suit of Teabags (no, wait, that was Steve Allen) o Suit of Vegemite (tm) o Suit of Vegetables o Suit of Velcro (Dave wore the soft part, then he jumped onto a wall covered with the other part, and stuck) * When Chris Elliott was still writing for Late Night, what were some of the characters he played? o Marlon Brando o The Guy Under the Seats o Marv Albert o Jay Leno (with large fake chin) o Letterman imitation-- "Late Night with Chris Elliott" o The Fugitive Guy o The Nervous Guy o The Regulator Guy o Chris Elliott, Jr. (Morton Downey, Jr. take-off w/ lots o' moles) o The Panicky Guy o The Conspiracy Guy o Gerard Mulligan's baby boy, "Kevin" (complete w/ diaper) o Jack Hanna of the Columbus Zoo o Walter Murphy, "the man with the miracle mind" who had memorized all the animals portrayed in that memorable NBC fantasy-adventure series, "Manimal" (as this was early in his career, Chris actually did a Harvey Korman trying to suppress the giggles) o Singularly unhelpful Radio City Music Hall custodian (Anniversary show; thanks to Jim Lyden) * What is Larry "Bud" Melman's real name? Calvert DeForest. And in fact, for intellectual property reasons, Dave is calling "Larry" Calvert on the new show. * Who all have been the means of delivery of Cokes, etc., from the vending machines? (Late Night) o The Rockettes (and now on the Late Show as well) o Members of the NYC area chapter of Mensa o Carl Lewis o Boy Scouts o Marching Band o Andy Grayson, trail bike rider, rode down the stairs and jumped up on Dave's desk (w/the bike) without touching a foot. * How has Dave paid tribute to his erstwhile telephone companion, the lovely auburn-haired book publicist Meg Parsont? o Sent the "Three Amigos" to serenade her with Mexican rest- aurant music o Sent Billy Dee Williams over with a bouquet of roses, a matching his-and-her set of his designer fragrances, and a six-pack of Colt 45 malt liquor o Closed off 49th Street so the Jamestown High School Red Raiders marching band could parade below her window playing "Happy Birthday" and spelling out M-E-G in formation * I know Bill Murray was the first scheduled guest on both Late Night in 1982 and the Late Show in 1993. Although recently, Dave told Tom Brokaw that *he* (Tom) was "the first guest on our new show" (when Tom came out to reclaim certain cue cards as "the intellectual property of NBC"). Right. But back to Bill Murray in '82 -- what was *that*? According to Dave, "Bill wanted to do something special, so he was coming down early to talk to the writers and see what they could come up with together. When he arrived, Merrill and I were out filming a segment, and Bill showed up with about six gallons of whatever tequila was on sale. When we got back, everybody was shitfaced, and it was dark, since Bill had decided the flourescent lights were leeching Vitamin E from them and he'd hidden all the lamps. Nothing was written, and the only explanation I could get from anyone was, 'Bill was here.' When we did get on the air, Bill decided not to do any of the stuff we'd written and got an urge to sing 'Let's Get Physical' and do aerobics. So he did." >>> As a tribute to that historical debut, Paul and the band played "Physical" for Bill's intro on the first Late Show. * The wife and I were up last night watching Dave, and we got to talking about the old show and that wild-eyed longhair freak who tried to kick Dave in the chops. Remember that? Yes, it's remembered for us about every three weeks, on average, on the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup. For that reason we have provided for the general public an annotated transcript of that episode, from July of 1987, featuring guest Crispin Glover, on the Letterman archive at ftp.mcs.net (see the end of this FAQ for info). Thanks to Mark Schweingruber for the effort. * Whatever happened to Brother Theodore? I heard he had passed away. Otherwise Dave would surely have had him on the new show, no? Bro. Theo. is still around and thriving in the Village. According to Kevin R. Kraynick, he's performing Saturday nights at 9:30 p.m. at the 13th Street Theater. Admission is $12.50. Mark Evanier notes, "He seems to have joined the list of guests that Dave is no longer interested in having on." * I heard that one night, Dave bumped Cindy Crawford from a show just so he could talk with a guy named Herb Clumpy! Mm hmm. By the way, the name's spelled Klumpe, not "Clumpy," and he has become one of the regulars on the old A. F. of L. newsgroup. Herb, who hails from Oneonta, New York, site of the very last home office of _Late Night,_ was in the audience for one of Dave's last NBC broadcasts on June 17 '93, wearing a sweatshirt emblazoned with the letters ONEONTA. Dave was notified before the show that a guy from the home office with a delightful name was in the crowd, so upon entering the studio he opened that evening's show with the line, "Tonight's program is dedicated to Herb Klumpe III." Not only did the monologue go out the window, but Herb and Dave chatted on-air after the break and they exchanged sweatshirts as the alluring Miss Crawford looked on forlornly from the green room. It turns out that Herb and four of his enterprising friends also held tickets for the very last _Late Night_ so, to commemorate his good fortune, Herb's friends showed up wearing "Friend of Herb Klumpe III" T-shirts. NBC staff spotted Mr. Klumpe and escorted him to the green room, where he got to watch the final show with a gaggle of extree special guests that included Tom Hanks and his wife. He is living proof that Dave Letterman, much like _Late Night_'s revered final guest Bruce Springsteen, can both entertain the masses and brighten the lives of ordinary fans -- and in so doing touch the lives of each one of us who watches his show. [*dab corners of eyes with blue index card*] -- Aaron Barnhart letterman@mcs.net Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman,rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.talkshows.late,news.answers,alt.answers,rec.answers Subject: alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (Part 3 of 3) Followup-To: alt.fan.letterman Reply-To: letterman@mcs.net Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu Summary: This posting contains a list of Frequently Asked Questions (and their answers) about the Late Show/Late Night with David Letterman. New readers of the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup should read this FAQ list before posting. Archive-name: letterman/faq/part3 The alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) list Last-modified: Thu Jul 20 11:44:58 CDT 1995 Version: 9.11 Part 3 of 3 * Does Sid have a "running jones"? Yes indeed. A full account is given in a _Runner's World_ feature on the longtime Letterman guitarist, who joined Late Night in 1984. "Nike, upon learning that its Sock Racers [running shoes] were showcased on Late Night ... supplied McGinnis with as many pairs as he needed." Now that the shoe is out of stock, "Nike has fashioned close facsimiles ... custom-made Air Sids. 'There are five million pairs of Air Jordans,' McGinnis estimates, 'and two Air Sids.'" The story also reports that at age 40, Sid ran the 1989 New York Marathon in 3:14:44. Has Sid *ever* missed a show? Twice, says Donz5. "On the March 3, 1989 show, Paul praises Sid for having missed only 2 shows. I checked, and, sure enough, Sid missed show #679 (March 13, 1986) and #683 (March 20, 1986), both shows subbed by Steve Kahn." These were during the time Sid's wife was giving birth to their first child. * Other than Paul, Anton, Will, and Sid, who were members of "the band," later titled "The World's Most Dangerous Band" on Late Night? Hiram Bullock was the original guitarist and Steve Jordan the original drummer. Over the years there were also these occasional honorary members: Francisco Centano, bass Neil Jason, bass Marcus Miller, bass Buzz Feiten, guitar Steven Khan, guitar Jeff Lee, guitar Elliott Randall, guitar John Tropea, guitar (it's true, Donz5 confirms it!) Waddy Wachtel, guitar Kenny Aronoff, drums Charlie Drayton, drums Steve Ferrone, drums Steve Gadd, drums Omar Hakim, drums Allan Schwartzberg, drums Rob Mounsey, keyboard Leon Pendarvis, keyboards Bette Sussman, keyboard And Donz5 reminded me not to overlook frequent Thursday (later Friday) guest band member David Sanborn on saxophone. * What's "the GE corporate handshake"? In 1986, shortly after General Electric announced its acquisition of NBC, Dave went with a camera crew and a fruit basket and/or bottle of wine/champagne to the corporate headquarters in Manhattan as a gift to GE Chairman Jack Welch. In one of the most-talked-about moments in Late Night history, Dave and his crew were met in the lobby by a security thug who told them to shut off the camera and get out of the building. Being the polite Midwesterner he is, Dave extended his hand to the security guy, who in turn extended his hand ... then *retracted* it without consummating the grip and release. This sleight of hand is what became known as the GE corporate handshake. (The security guy repeated this handshake moments later with Hal Gurnee, who was accompanying Dave on the shoot.) The event is now remembered as the turning point in Dave's relationship with the network and its GE-appointed brass, notably the weasels in Burbank who thought that Dave was too "mean" for the Johnny Carson slot. * I can't believe NBC just let Dave go because they didn't like his personality. As Bill Carter reports, one senior NBC executive was heard to say after the Letterman-Leno debacle, "It was amazing to have made that many mistakes in a row." But perhaps the biggest mistake was the network's failure to chisel out a long-range strategy for late night, which ideally would have been to coax Johnny out of his job (a task eventually taken up by Helen Kushnick, Jay Leno's longtime handler), offer Dave the 11:35 show, and tossed Leno, who might well have landed on his feet bringing new fame to CBS, where his current 4.4 rating would have realized millions in new revenue for the then-doormat of late night television. Instead, Jay got a clause inserted in his contract that made him the next _Tonight_ host; Johnny got wind of it and quit; and Dave was left in the dust. If there is a wildcard in this, it is possibly John Agoglia, the president of NBC Productions and its "no man" in matters relating to talent relations. It is true that Letterman made life difficult for Agoglia, but the latter's weasely actions were inappropriate even for a grouchy talent like Dave. After all, here is a man who (a) threatened to bring Maury Povich's show into Studio 6A every day if Dave didn't cooperate with the network's stupid "Sunday Best" program, (b) bragged that he had Dana Carvey locked in as Dave's 12:35 replacement, a flat lie, and (c) even when instructed by his boss Robert Wright to negotiate a plan to give _Tonight_ to Letterman, would not put anything in writing. However mean Dave was to Agoglia on his show, the NBC man returned it with interest later on. The oft-heard complaint that Dave was not cooperative with the suits reminds us of the mess the Reverend Martin Luther King got into because he wouldn't return the phone calls of an undercover FBI agent who was trying to reach him. Infuriated, the G-man went to his boss Hoover and reported King as a troublemaker, and we know the rest. Only thing is King, like Letterman, simply didn't return calls from anyone except his closest advisors. * What's all this about an Australian version of Late Night? There used to be a self-admitted knockoff of Dave's show, "Tonight Live," hosted by Steve Vizard. It was cancelled in late 1993 and replaced by the first Australian broadcast of the Letterman show. >>> Don Maple writes from Germany to report this Deutscheplunderwerk: "Started a couple of months ago. The show is called _Nacht-Show_ hosted by a creature called Thomas Koschwitz. A shameless rip-off with almost identical intro, identical desk, (attempted) identical host behaviour, repartee with the band leader, top 10 lists, etc." >>> Then there's the *Norwegian* version, a show called "RiksDan." Bjorn Brattland writes: "The host is called Dan Borge Akero, and has his own top 10 list (actually, it's top 6, but this is a small country), chats with the band leader, and his general behaviour is modeled after Dave." * What was the translation of the Japanese on the kites in the Late Night opening sequence (1992-93)? One said "Late Night," another, "G.E. sucks." * * * Questions People Ask About this FAQ List, the A. F. of L. Archive, and LATE SHOW NEWS. * * * Where can I find this FAQ when I need it (i.e., later)? The alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) list is posted to news.answers and other newsgroups on the 6th and 20th of each month. If for some reason you miss the posting, the list is available via anonymous FTP from ftp.mcs.net in the files /mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman/faq/part1 /mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman/faq/part2 /mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman/faq/part3 and is also available via anonymous FTP from rtfm.mit.edu as the files /pub/usenet/news.answers/letterman/faq/part1 /pub/usenet/news.answers/letterman/faq/part2 /pub/usenet/news.answers/letterman/faq/part3 The FAQ is also via mail server. Send mail to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the following lines in the body: send usenet/news.answers/letterman/faq/part1 send usenet/news.answers/letterman/faq/part2 send usenet/news.answers/letterman/faq/part3 * How can I contribute to the FAQ? Send your submissions, questions, and comments to: letterman@mcs.net * Is the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup available as a mailing list? No. * Does this newsgroup have an archive? The FTP directory ftp.mcs.net:/mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman is brimming with text files, images, sounds, and Top Ten Lists. Also, check out these World Wide Web clients if you've got WWW-compatible software: http://bingen.cs.csbsju.edu/letterman.html http://www.cen.uiuc.edu/~jl8287/letterman.html If you want CBS Top Tens, the television network itself has a great archive that's searchable. Point your Web browser at . If you don't have Web access, send mail to listserv@listserv.clark.net with this message: get topten archive (Any Subject: line is okay.) You'll get instructions on searching the TOPTEN mail server's archive of CBS Top Tens. Jeez, it seems like I can never get into ftp.mcs.net by FTP. Sorry about that; it's the best we can do for now. * I crave that late-breaking news about all the big stars, and what bigger star is there than Dave Letterman? Look no further, Sparky, because your FAQkeeper has taken that matter into his own hands. LATE SHOW NEWS supplies you with up-to-the-moment info from the late-night talk circuit generally, and especially Dave's show. It's posted to alt.fan.letterman, rec.arts.tv, alt.zines, and alt.tv.talkshows.late every Tuesday. You also may subscribe to the LATE-SHOW-NEWS mailing list to get each issue mailed directly to you. Write listserv@american.edu and send only the following as your message: subscribe late-show-news Your Name * * * Helpful Hints for Reading the alt.fan.letterman Newsgroup. This section was written by Stephen Pace (pace@shell.com) who invites your comments and suggestions. * * * This newsgroup is read by approximately 80,000 people a week (I've seen estimates ranging from 46,000 - 100,000). It works because people contribute interesting information about Dave and the show, and because we have a wide cross-section of people contributing (from rabid fans to industry insiders to occasional _Late Show_ viewers). Recently the newsgroup has been taken over by bands of unruly subjects from the major online services because of a profile of the newsgroup on the CBS News program "48 Hours." Longtime a.f.l. member Scott Barvian said it best in a response to a particularly lame Compuserve user: I think this proves that "48 Hours" let us down by failing to point out that one should only post to a newsgroup if one has something relevant to say. Perhaps the future of a.f.l is as a moderated newsgroup so we can better weed out the chaff. Personally, I hope it doesn't come to that, but as Usenet grows and readership increases, who knows what will happen. Before you post to the group, think hard: is this something that 80,000 Letterman fans would really want to read? (If your e-mail address ends in aol.com, compuserve,com, prodigy.com, or cml.com, think doubly hard about this.) This is not to say there aren't valuable contributors from any of the commercial online services; in fact, one of the most valuable a.f.l. contributors -- Donz5 -- hails from AOL. It's just that MOST aren't, and I can say that because ... well, I just can. New people should not take this to mean they should never post; all I am really saying here is that you should consider the vast number of people that will be reading your article and be a considerate Usenet user, in a.f.l. or anywhere else. If you feel what you are writing is relevant and worthwhile, by all means post! Things we like to see on this newsgroup: --------------------------------------- o Hearing from people who've been to the show. What did you see? Did anything interesting happen behind the scenes? Did something get left out in editing? Some of the best posts (like Scott Nordgren's "Kill the Peanut Girl" account of going to the show for Stupid Human Tricks) come from "at the show" experiences. Recently, some great posts have come from a.f.l newcomer Chris Himes's story of his recent visit to the show (which he titled "The Ultimate Letterman Experience"). o Hearing about your interactions with Dave, Paul, and other members of the staff. Sit next to Paul on the plane yesterday? Let us know how it went. o Tangential information about happenings on the Big Show. So a guest didn't come clean on their segment with Dave, but you know the full story because you read a newspaper? Post. o You know the off-beat reason why Paul picked the introduction music for a guest? Post. o You saw Dave (or someone related to the show) on page (X) of (Y) strange news source? Let us know and summarize the article for us. Maybe we'll go out and buy it (but read the group first to make sure we haven't already discussed it to death). We especially like hearing from people in the business, and we are indebted to Richard Scheckman (and in the past Christine Schomer) for filling us in from the inside. Mark Evanier also drops by from time to time. Mix these people in with Aaron Barnhart and an unruly mix of other regulars and you know the reason why David C. Lawrence describes alt.fan.letterman (in the monthly Alternative Newsgroup Hierarchies posting) as "one of the top 10 reasons to get the alt groups." We don't care if: ---------------- o You hate Conan O'Brien. So what? I hate squash, but you don't see me bringing it up every friggin' day. If I see one more "Conan sucks, Dave rules" post without so much as a reason why you feel that way, I'm going to personally drive to your home and unleash an entire arsenal of Nerf weaponry on you. o You hate Jay Leno. Jay does his best; he has his fans and he has his detractors. If you like him, hang out in alt.fan.jay-leno. If you don't, don't let me know about it unless you post some valid reasons. Dave himself has said that Jay puts on a professional show night in and night out. Let's leave it at that, shall we? o You hate Canadians and/or Australians. Can't we all just get along? Every country has its losers; unfortunately, most of them seem to gravitate towards this thread. o You want to get on the show, and you want us to help you. First, we're nobody. It's not like Dave pops by the group and asks if Elle MacPherson should be on the show next week. Secondly, if you want to get on the show, do it the way everyone else does it. Send your videotape to Stupid Human Tricks or Stupid Pet Tricks. Or get four funny stories together (or one interesting one that gets picked up by the AP newswire). Or just get famous and star in a few movies. Simple. Personally, as a fan of the show, I don't want you on unless you're reasonably funny. alt.FAN.letterman ----------------- We take the fan part seriously. There are people in this group who regularly watch or tape everything Dave. We've read every interview he's done. Some have watched him back on his morning show days. Even curmudgeons like Funt! have been fans of his old, if not his new, stuff. Some have video tape libraries that would amaze, delight, and scare you. We recognize that there are non-Dave fans out there. More power to you. You probably like stuff that I don't like. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Or, if you want to stay, at least post reasons why you don't like him instead of saying, "he's just not funny." Obviously, a majority of late night television viewers DO find him funny, and it quite possibly might be YOU who is hooked up wrong. All things Dave --------------- Feel free to mention Dave sightings (either in person or on TV), but first scan the group and make sure there already aren't some threads on the subject. Also, scan the various Web and FTP sites where a lot of the important past material has been archived: http://bingen.cs.csbsju.edu/letterman.html http://www.cen.uiuc.edu/~jl8287/letterman.html http://www.cbs.com ftp.mcs.net:/mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman And for the love of God, read the alt.fan.letterman FAQ file before you make a fool of yourself. Donz5 ----- Part human, part database; Donz5 is one of the most valuable members of the group. Why? Because he backs up his posts with cold hard facts. If you want to find out when something or someone appeared on the show, Donz5 can more than likely help you out. But when you get your detailed answer (including dates and episode numbers), don't flame him and tell him to get a life. We each have our interests; we're lucky that Don's interests correspond with ours and that he shares his information with us. Also, despite what you may have heard, Donz5 is not David Letterman. Dean Adams ---------- Three words: Human Tape Library. Funt! ----- What's up with Funt!? He's a disgruntled old-time fan of _Late Night with David Letterman_. He feels that Dave has sold out to the mainstream with his new show. Personally, I feel that Funt! is refusing to look for any of the "old Dave" on the show. I see flashes of him all the time. Papa Budge ---------- I'm the first to admit I hated Papa Budge with a passion when he first arrived on the scene back in 1994. He started out by writing bullshit responses to posts on the group; most knew they were fake, but more often than not a huge worthless thread would start because of it. Then he left for a while. When he returned, he returned with a distinctive posting style that has endeared him to us ever since (most of us, anyway). Watch what you type here -- you may get "Budged." Who Uses A.F.L? --------------- Despite what Chris said on his _48 Hours_ segment, a.f.l is a little older than a lot of the newsgroups. Chris posted that he used the following for his reference on the _48 Hours_ segment: A recent WWW survey cited in the Washington Post listed Internet users as: 1- 90% male 2- 60% between the ages of 18-34 alt.fan.letterman is part of Usenet, which isn't exactly the Internet. I've been reading this group for years, and I can (unscientifically) tell you that the majority of people CONTRIBUTING to this group are older than your average college student. Ruth Spinks just completed an informal demographics survey of the group, and her findings meshed with my view of a.f.l: 64% of the survey respondents were between 19 and 42, the youngest was 14, and the oldest was 62. The median was 28. (You can get the full results from Ruth if you are interested: ras24@po.cwru.edu.) There also seems to be an above average number of woman here, especially for Usenet. (Ruth's survey showed about a 60%/40% split for the survey respondents.) Thus, I feel the correct answer to the correspondent's question to Chris would have been, "there is a wide cross-section of participants, probably owing to Dave's wide cross-section of popularity." * * * Sources for this Frequently Asked Questions list. * * * Beautiful People. Well, of course, kudos to D. Keith Rice for maintaining the list since way back, I think 1956, '57, before giving it to me. Special mention should go out to Donz5@aol.com for his endless contributions to this list and the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup, as well as Scott Barvian, Sue Trowbridge and Richard Handal, who've supplied me with important research materials, and Letterman staffers Richard Scheckman and Christine Schomer for their contributions. For contributing to this list, Keith and I are indebted to Dean Adams, Fritz Anderson, Greg Anderson, Ken Anderson, Jason Bak, J.D. Baldwin, John Bartol, Scott Barvian, Laurence Bier, John Bonacci, Joel Chan, Crist Clark, John Clear, Brian Conn, Marc Conte, Todd Cooper, Lewis Coury, Richard Dawson, Matt Dittrich, Jef Dodd, Sean Donnelly, David Eccleston, Susan Fanelli, Kevin Fong, Eric Fritzius, bj gleason, Mark Goldberg, Robert Goldsborough, Norm Gregory, Chris Eliot Haroian, Mathew A. Hennessy, Rachel Hill, John Hritz, Ben Jackson, Bill Jones, Doug Krause, Ed Krauss, Lana Krotenko, Bob Kupiec, James Langdell, James LaPlaine, Don Leaman, Jason Lindquist, Gord Locke, Robert Lopez, Lon Lowen, Ian McCuaig, Ken McGlothlen, Bill McGonigle, Alan "Mr. Tucks" McKendree, Leigh Meydrech, Shamim Zvonko Mohamed, Ken Mohnker, "Noel" at microsoft.com, John Oram, Brian Peek, Marshal Perlman, Alan Perry, Tad Perry, Dave Platt, Michael Regoli, Tony Rice, Tom Sakoda, Steve Shauger, Bill Sherman, Jeff Shimbo, Jason Snell, Mike Southworth, Greg Sroka, Jeff Stephan, Ben Sterling, Christopher Taylor, David C. Tuttle, Wendy Tyrol, Rich Urena, Tim Veatch, Jeff Wilder, Mike Wittman, Eric Witmayer, and Eric Wood. Primary Print Sources. "Is This Man the New Johnny Carson?", _Chicago Tribune,_ 1/6/80. _Playboy_ magazine interviews, 1984 and 1994. _The Late Shift_ by Bill Carter, 1994. _The David Letterman Story_ by Caroline Latham, 1987. "Stay Up Late" by James Kaplan, _The New Yorker,_ 1/16/89. "Flying Feet & Fingers," by Peter Gambaccini, _Runner's World,_ 3/92. This article is Copyright (c) 1995 by Aaron Barnhart. It may be freely redistributed so long as the author's name, and this notice, remain intact. It may be distributed as long as no fee is charged for distribution. If it is made available for downloading on a bulletin board system (BBS) that charges a fee for downloading privileges, it must be in a directory that is available to all BBS users, including those that have not paid. If the BBS does not have any file directories available for all paid and non-paid users, this FAQ must not be made available for download. .o ____~~~~_____~. ..( ).... ( Remember ... )) .ooo. ( . ) / ))' \ ( it ain't ham, unless ) o. { , , } 'o ( ) ( "_" ) ..o' (... it's a BIG ASS HAM .) " .o. " .(. ) ) .---/\___//\----. .(.~~~ ___...) o ." .\ Y |. `. .o -------o. : .\ ^ |. `>. ." ". ; \ /^\ t. e\. >" " ; | /^\ \ " `.. " " : : /^\ | ./ "# B i g # ; h /^\ \./: ! A s s ! ________\ "~~~~...._\/_V__!---------!________________ c,,,...a~~~=~ ` H a m ' "......." (courtesy Tim Veatch) -- Aaron Barnhart letterman@mcs.net