Article 32148 of alt.fan.letterman: Path: ddsw1!news.cic.net!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!math.ohio-state.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!europa.eng.gtefsd.com!library.ucla.edu!ucsbuxb.ucsb.edu!mcl!ukoga From: ukoga@mcl.ucsb.edu (Jeffrey Koga) Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman Subject: [TRANSCRIPT] Dave with Beavis and Butthead Date: 14 Sep 1994 22:36:18 GMT Organization: University of California, Santa Barbara Lines: 42 Message-ID: <357tt2$igm@ucsbuxb.ucsb.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: mcl.mcl.ucsb.edu [MTV Video Music Awards, 9/8/94] [Letterman is sitting and eating a burrito in the middle seat, accompanied by Beavis on the left and Butthead on the right.] Beavis: [laughs] "Let me have some." [laughs] Letterman: "No way." Beavis: "Come on!" [laughs] "Come on, let me have just one bite!" [reaches over just a bit] Letterman: [moving the food away] "Get out of here, DUMB ASS!" [audience laughter] Butthead: [laughs] Letterman: [points to offscreen left, behind Beavis' head] "Hey! Hey! Check it out, there's Ozzy!" Beavis: [turns around towards that direction so that his head is toward Letterman] "Where?! WHERE?! *WHERE?!*" Letterman: [his hand still behind Beavis' head, slaps Beavis' head silly with one BIG *WHACK*] Beavis: [eyes bulging out, screams in pain] [LOTS of audience laughter, and naturally so!] Beavis: [massages his head, but very quickly joins the fray] All three: [laugh] Butthead: "That was cool." Letterman: [nods his head] "Yup." [continues eating his burrito] All three: [continue laughing] -- Jeff "Koganuts" Koga ukoga@mcl.ucsb.edu ** "...seriously, win or lose, it's Head of the Terry Farrell Internet Fan Club ** just great to be in Pasadena!" (c) 1994 Dystopian Visions ** David Letterman, '94 Emmy Awards SW: TotJ D ANH TESB RotJ TaB TCoPL HttE DFR TLC Dark Empire JS DA CotF TCS Article 32149 of alt.fan.letterman: Path: ddsw1!news.cic.net!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!math.ohio-state.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!europa.eng.gtefsd.com!library.ucla.edu!ucsbuxb.ucsb.edu!mcl!ukoga From: ukoga@mcl.ucsb.edu (Jeffrey Koga) Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman Subject: [TRANSCRIPT] Dave with Madonna Date: 14 Sep 1994 22:37:21 GMT Organization: University of California, Santa Barbara Lines: 48 Message-ID: <357tv1$igv@ucsbuxb.ucsb.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: mcl.mcl.ucsb.edu [MTV Video Music Awards, 9/8/94] Rosanne: "To present the final award tonight is somebody who's done it ALL! Please welcome Madonna!" [Letterman walks with Madonna, holding her arm, to the podium, to LOTS of applause] [When they reach it, he then holds her hand] [He looks pretty damn nervous] [They looks around as this goes on] Madonna: [laughs] [turns toward Letterman] "See?!" [to audience] "Thank you." [adjusts her dress, puts her arm around Letterman's arm, then holds his hand] Letterman: [shows first signs of a smile and a grin] Madonna: [laughs again] Letterman: [raises his hand in an acknowledging gesture, appears to mouth the words "Thank you," adjusts his glasses, and breaks out in a nervous smile] Madonna: [to audience] "And you thought we wouldn't last!" [referring to an earlier comment by Michael Jackson about his marriage to Lisa Marie Prestley] [audience applause] Madonna: [smiles] Letterman: [looks away, nodding his head a few times] [to Madonna] "I'll, uh, uh..." "I'll, I'll, I'll be in the car..." [looks offscreen left] "Just..." [speaks back into the microphone] "...watch your language." [audience laughter, then applause] Letterman: [kisses Madonna's hand, then her cheek, and starts walking off stage] [raises his hand to acknowledge the crowd] [as he leaves the stage, he looks pretty pissed, actually!] Madonna: "Bye, Dave." [looks at the camera in front of her just ever-so-briefly, then looks off- stage ever-so-long, biting her lip] [then after taking one more fleeting look, she announces the nominees for Best Video of the Year] -- Jeff "Koganuts" Koga ukoga@mcl.ucsb.edu ** "...seriously, win or lose, it's Head of the Terry Farrell Internet Fan Club ** just great to be in Pasadena!" (c) 1994 Dystopian Visions ** David Letterman, '94 Emmy Awards SW: TotJ D ANH TESB RotJ TaB TCoPL HttE DFR TLC Dark Empire JS DA CotF TCS Article 32152 of alt.fan.letterman: Path: ddsw1!panix!zip.eecs.umich.edu!newsxfer.itd.umich.edu!europa.eng.gtefsd.com!library.ucla.edu!ucsbuxb.ucsb.edu!mcl!ukoga From: ukoga@mcl.ucsb.edu (Jeffrey Koga) Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman Subject: [TRANSCRIPT] Dave at the Emmys Date: 14 Sep 1994 22:46:24 GMT Organization: University of California, Santa Barbara Lines: 81 Message-ID: <357ug0$jto@ucsbuxb.ucsb.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: mcl.mcl.ucsb.edu [1994 Primetime Emmy Awards, 9/11/94] Jerry Seinfeld: "And the Emmy goes to...'Late Show With David Letterman!'" [Letterman gets up, shakes the hands of Robert Morton, ? (Peter Lassally or Jude Brennan?), and Hal Gurnee as they head for the stage.] [His entire speech was reminiscent of one of his monologues for the show.] Letterman: [clears throat] "I, uh, I don't live here anymore, so...I'm a little confused when Faye Dunaway says...'This town has heart...'" [referring to an earlier comment by her] [audience laughter] Letterman: [deadpan expression on his face] "Is she talking about Hollywood or is she talking about Pasadena?" [audience laughter] Letterman: [to his buddies on-stage] "Really. I don't know!" [audience laughter still] Letterman: [chuckles and smiles] [looks off to the right side of the screen, then to audience] [deadpan expression on his face] "C-can you, can you tell from looking at my hair, that I...rented a convertible? Thank you..." [audience laughter] Letterman: [then smiles and quietly laughs] "Well..." [clears throat] "I, I don't need to tell you folks that..." [raises Emmy and smiles] "...there's been a huge mistake!" [laughs real loudly!] [audience laughter] Letterman: [deadpan expression on his face] "The uh, um...the, the people to, to thank for this, eh. I mean just, you know, thanks to everybody, thanks to a-anybody drawin' breath right now, thank you very much." [audience laughter] Letterman: "The, I, I have very little to do with the show, e-everyday at about five, after m-my manicure, I put on a suit and go to work, and..." [subdued laughter] Letterman: "...and it, it really is, the success that we've enjoyed for the uh, the first year, uh, is all a credit to staff members, and the crew, and..." [gestures subtly towards Jerry] "...s-some of the people you see standing behind me." [audience laughter] [at this point, Morton looks behind him and to his side while laughing!] Letterman: [shrugs, says some unintelligible stuff] "You know, I mean, Jerry helps out whenever he can, but he's..." Seinfeld: [kind of shrugs] [audience laughter] Letterman: [looks back at Morton] [to audience] "But it, you know, seriously, win or lose, it's just great to be in Pasadena!" [raises hand with Emmy] "Thank you very much!" [LOTS of applause] -- Jeff "Koganuts" Koga ukoga@mcl.ucsb.edu ** "...seriously, win or lose, it's Head of the Terry Farrell Internet Fan Club ** just great to be in Pasadena!" (c) 1994 Dystopian Visions ** David Letterman, '94 Emmy Awards SW: TotJ D ANH TESB RotJ TaB TCoPL HttE DFR TLC Dark Empire JS DA CotF TCS Article 32153 of alt.fan.letterman: Path: ddsw1!panix!zip.eecs.umich.edu!newsxfer.itd.umich.edu!europa.eng.gtefsd.com!library.ucla.edu!ucsbuxb.ucsb.edu!mcl!ukoga From: ukoga@mcl.ucsb.edu (Jeffrey Koga) Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman Subject: More info on the transcripts I just posted Date: 14 Sep 1994 22:49:06 GMT Organization: University of California, Santa Barbara Lines: 20 Message-ID: <357ul3$kit@ucsbuxb.ucsb.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: mcl.mcl.ucsb.edu Hope y'all enjoy 'em. I had time to kill, and I'm sure there are those of you out there who would enjoy reading them. As nit-picky and detail-filled as they are, I tried to capture the experience of watching them. I have even digitized them into Mac System 7 sounds, but there's no telling when I'll upload them to FTP sites, so don't ask. >8P I'm also going to try and make QuickTime movies of them as well, but no telling when that'll happen. And PLEASE, no Mac-bashing. I've had enough of that and PC-bashing to last well over a lifetime. Anyways, hope they were of some use to you. --Jeff "Koganuts" Koga -- Jeff "Koganuts" Koga ukoga@mcl.ucsb.edu ** "...seriously, win or lose, it's Head of the Terry Farrell Internet Fan Club ** just great to be in Pasadena!" (c) 1994 Dystopian Visions ** David Letterman, '94 Emmy Awards SW: TotJ D ANH TESB RotJ TaB TCoPL HttE DFR TLC Dark Empire JS DA CotF TCS