From: veatch@cs.toronto.edu (Top Ten)
Date: 15 Nov 92 09:47:49 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Dave's presidential campaign comparison


        .ooo.
       / ))' \
       { , , }    Dave's presidential campaign comparison
      (  "_"  )
       " .o. "    Comparison of the Republican and Democratic campaigns:
        \___/


 Clinton campaign:
        Campaign staff spent every free moment looking for new answers the
        the nation's problems.
 Bush campaign:
        Campaign staff spent every free moment looking for new jobs.

 Bush campaign:
        Kissed babies.
 Clinton campaign:
        Kissed babes.

 Clinton campaign:
        Economic plan endorsed by over 500 leading economists.
 Bush campaign:
        Economic plan endorsed by Phil (the Scooter) Rizzuto.

 Clinton campaign:
        Feared voters would be put off by Hillary's outspoken nature.
 Bush campaign:
        Feared voters would be put off by Barbara's George Washington
        haircut.

 Bush campaign:
        Jennifer
 Clinton campaign:
        Gennifer

 Clinton campaign:
        After convention, arranged for their popular bus trip.
 Bush campaign:
        After convention, arranged for the moving van.

 Clinton campaign:
        Brought out statistics showing staggering declines in employment
        rate, housing starts, and gross national product.
 Bush campaign:
        Brought out Bruce Willis.

 Bush campaign:
        Reminisced about the time he was shot down by a Japanese plane in
        the south Pacific.
 Clinton campaign:
        Reminisced about the time he was shot down by a Japanese babe at a
        college mixer.

 Bush campaign:
        Have watched with helpless horror the inexorable growth of the
        federal deficit.
 Clinton campaign:
        Have watched with helpless horror the inexorable growth of Bill's
        waistline.

 Clinton campaign:
        Travelled to nine states in final 24 hours.
 Bush campaign:
        Boasted that Quayle could name nine states in 24 hours.

 Clinton campaign:
        Democratic convention included speakers of every race, gender, and
        sexual orientation.
 Bush campaign:
        Republican convention included some white guys with a suntan.

 Clinton campaign:
        Organized, focused, energetic.
 Bush campaign:
        Strung out on Metamucil.

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