From: snordgr@eng.clemson.edu (scott nordgren)
Subject: Kill the Peanut Girl (It's me Scott)
Organization: Clemson University College of Engineering
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 1993 21:15:55 GMT

Thanks for all of your support.

Here's my day November 17, 1993

9 am arrived at LaGuardia and hunted down my limo.

9:15 found the limo guy and boy was it a limo.  A stretch jobbie.  I got
in the limo and made sure not to kick the VCR.  A little disappointed at
the lack of a wet bar, but who could drink at a time like this?  I
settled down for the roughly 45 minute drive into town still not
beleiving this was all happening.

10:00 I thought we were going straight to the studio, but I was dropped
off at the Rihga Royal Hotel instead.  The limo would be back to take me
around one for the two block ride to the studio.

10:15 sat in the living room of my hotel room staring at my
surroundings.  All this because I can spit toothpaste blindfolded?

12 noon Susan Sheehan called telling me I was set for rehearsals at 2,
the limo would be waiting at one.

12:15 worst burger of my life at the Star Diner

12:45 one final releiving of myself on a Rhiga Royal throne.  Hey I
didn't want to do it in my pants when I got on stage.

1:00 limo comes for the 1 1/2 block journey

1:10 my limo blocked off Broadway while the driver removed the police
barricade on W.53rd.  They were setting up the bowling and no cars were
allowed through.  I was staring at Daves marquee and it was all sinking
in now.

	I was dropped off just behind were Dick Weber bowled.  Went
right in the door and was directed into the green room, an immediate
left.  The peanut girl, ringding swallower, beer table guy, and piano
man were all waiting.  The canoe guy was missing.  He had to drive down
from Rhode Island, and wasn't there yet.  Susan told me what I was going
up against and I conceded a spot to the canoe guy.  Since he wasn't
there yet, things were looking up.

1:45 Canoe guy shows up. Damn!

Around 2:15 - 2:30 we went backstage.  The band was warming up playing
"Cuts Like a Knife" which was used later.  The way rehearsals go, a guy
stands in for Dave, you walk out to where you'll be, he askss you some
questions, you do your trick.  Then you watch yourself in slow motion
just like if you were on the show and then you walk off.

The piano guy went first.  I saw him and conceded another spot.  His
goofiness made it funny.

Then it was my turn.  Next thing I knew I was walking towards Dave's
desk. So I end up at center stage, clutching my toothpaste, toothbrush,
and blindfold.  The band was playing really loud, I couldn't hear myself
speak, people were moving around, the lights were on me, etc.  I was
extremely nervous and could barely put the paste on the brush.
Blindfold down.  I brushed away.  A few tugs at my shirt pocket and I
was ready to spit.  The guy said "ew gross", I unblinded myself, Looked
in my pocket, and saw that it all went in.  I was half way there.  I was
really nervous I would miss.  I watched the slow motion and it looked
pretty funny.  They slowed it way down, and my spit just hung there
above my pocket.  Whew!  I was whisked off stage.

The peanut girl was next.  She missed her first three attempts, made
one, missed one, then made her last one.  2 out of 6 on an easy trick.
I figured she was gone.

A guy who swallowed ring dings then went.  A ring ding is a chocolate
covered creme filled cupcake.  I beleive they are the same as Ding
DOngs.  Anyways he stuck the whole thing in his mouth, kind of squatted
down, threw his head back, and blammo it was gone.  Very impressive.
It was even funnier in slow motion.  He was going to be tough to beat.

Next was a guy who sat in a chair, stuck his stomach out like a pregnant
lady, placed a tall boy beer can on it, tipped it back towards his
mouth, took the can in his teeth, drank from it, set it back on his
stomach, and then tilted it back to the upward position.  An excellent
trick, but his nerves were showing.

Well the canoe guy came next.  He first did the 16 footer (the one on
the show).  He wasn't done there, though.  He then took two 11' canoes
and stood one up vertical.  They balanced the other on top horizontal
and he some how lifted both of them up to his chin and balanced them
there.  The band actually stopped playing to watch this.  He was the
only one to receive a drumroll.  Un-fucking-beleivable!  This one could
have killed Dave, so they opted for the much safer solo canoe trick.

We then went down to the basement to await the producer's decision.  I
figured I was fourth on the depth chart; canoe, piano, ringdings,
toothpaste, and the beer guy.  The peanut girl was off the list.  Susan
then came down and read the order of appearance - piano, peanut, canoe.
Excuse me... did you say peanut?  I wouldn't have minded the other two
guys beating me, but the peanut girl?   She then told us we couldn't
even watch the show from the audience.  We had to watch it from the
basement as stand-bys.  Oh well.  She told us we were free to go, but be
back in the basement by 5.  She then came and told me my shirt was too
light and they` couldn't really see the spit enter the pocket.   Dammit,
why didn't I where my blue shirt?  oh well.

Me and the beer guy went outside and watch the bowling guy warm up.  We
saw him do champagne glasses.  There were Coleman Lanterns out there,
too bad they never used them.  We then went next door to McGee's to
drown our sorrows.  Six beers later we went to Rock America to buy
t-shirts.  I shook whats his names hand.
  
We walked back, past the police barricade, to go into the the studio
doors.  Who happens to be walking in at the same time?  Why it's Jon
Lovitz.  We shook his hand and he promised to come down and sign
autographs for us (we were penless).  He later sent his manager down
with a signed script of the show and that was it, but it's the thought
that counts.  The script is pretty cool.  It has all the possible
sketches they had planned, all possible bowling targets, all possible
human trickers, the promos they were going to film, the opening lines,
etc.  It's my best souveneir.  Me and the beer guy were the only ones to
get one.  Hah!  Take that, Peanut Girl!

So we sat down in th basement and watched George Thorogood warm up on
the monitor.  Teh show started and all human tricks were well and
accounted for.  (Me and the beer guy were especially happy, heh, heh).
At the first commercial break they took the human tricks up backstage.
Next thing you know, people that were just sitting next to me were
standing next to Dave.  Wow!  The trickers then came back and we
finished out the show talking about the experience.  It was incredible.

Even though I didn't meet Dave, it was the best time of my life.  I met
Biff and Rose, saw what goes into making the show (a lot!), stood on
stage (less then 20' from Paul), and Dave was just one ceiling away.
Plus they treated me like a king.  It was pretty amazing overall.  Plus
they said I might get called again.  I also get the cash for just
rehearsing.  Quite the deal.

Sorry I didn't get on, maybe next time.  Hell I never expected this so I
guess it's not impossible for them to call again.  Thanks for watching
and supporting.


Scott